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    那些,藏在冬天里的溫暖

    發布時間:2018-12-21 09:14 作者:admin 瀏覽數:

        
      離家讀書這幾年,染了一種毛病,不論去哪,只要觸目所見的是金黃的銀杏樹,總要在心里默默地將它和故鄉的銀杏比一比高低。不知是敝帚自珍還是心有芥蒂,這比較的結果,無一例外的是故鄉的銀杏樹更勝一籌。
      
      每個十月,故鄉的銀杏樹像守著什么約定似的,一樹樹,一枝枝,開滿每個秋。樹上的葉子黃橙橙的相互交錯,枝椏縫隙中隱隱透出些日光,像渴睡人的眼。一陣肅殺的秋風吹過,你會看到成群的黃蝴蝶,倏然的,悠緩的徐徐落下。這幾只飛落了,又來了那幾只,慢慢地,在道路兩旁堆疊著。小小的黃葉,每個都像把精致的扇子,油亮的黃色襯著老房子青灰蒼涼的底色,隱約間讓人想到這小城的悠久歷史和充斥在每一條街道,每一個拐彎處,每一棟房子里,每一個雜貨鋪中歡樂的掙扎的洪流。我想,在每個萬籟俱靜的夜晚,這些金黃,青色的,銀色的洪流,都必像小蟲一樣,搔著遠方游子的心。
      
      北方的冬季來得特別快,昨天還是秋天的肅殺氣氛。一場冷雨飄落,仿佛一夜間進了寒冬。供暖期到來,卻沒有一個人能安心蟄伏。像每個在為未來忙碌的人一樣,我每天依舊過著重復但卻也怡然自樂的日子。
      
      在學校外面的小街上,看到有人推著小車賣糖葫蘆。不覺又想起了家鄉的冬季。
      
      在我眼中,冬天的標志不乏兩種東西,一樣是冰糖葫蘆,一樣就是烤地瓜。
      
      還是上初中的時候,有個滿頭銀發的老奶奶每天推著白色的小車賣糖葫蘆。記憶里他不只是賣糖葫蘆,那小車里還有熏得黃黃的鹵蛋和自制的糖塊。紅的,黃的,棕的,遠遠望去自是對孩子的一種獨特吸引。
      
      那老人約有七十多歲了,穿著鋪滿灰土的棉衣,銀白的頭發彎成一個髻。像所有暮年的老人一樣,臉上,手上,布滿了逡裂的細紋和像干枯的河床般的褶皺。唯有那對略帶黃濁的眼睛,想兩眼將竭的枯泉,透著他們那個時代特有的簡單和質樸。
      
      我不知道為什么他家里的兒女忍心讓這樣一位老人每天出外謀生,我不知道她有沒有兒女,我甚至不知道,他明天還會不會來了。但我不想用充滿同情的眼神望著他,我只想,每天放學后走到他的攤子前,買一個糖葫蘆,站在寒風里,傻傻的吃,傻傻的和她笑。
      
      后來,我中考落榜,拿了擇校費憤憤的離開中學,我再沒見過這個老人。多年后再路過中學,我還特地偷眼去看,看校門口他原來站的地方,但我沒看見他。我不知道我走之后,他又在那里站了多少個晚上,他的那些小食塞滿了多少孩子的饞嘴,又讓她掙了多少辛苦錢。但是,我有點懷念他了。
      
      我的冬天不能缺了糖葫蘆。人長大了,糖葫蘆也跟著花樣翻新,什么巧克力的,水果的,山藥的。我吃了這么多年,這么多家,但卻怎么也吃不出當年的味道了。糖葫蘆的顏色也沒有往日般鮮艷。
      
      至于烤地瓜,我只是喜歡它的溫暖。
      
      走到街口,隨處可見賣烤地瓜的人們。這種東西只有在冬天吃才會有興味,但卻難為了賣烤地瓜的人,他們往往是穿了厚厚的,綠色的軍大衣,帶著棉帽子,讓碳染黑了的袖口里,伸出一雙雙粗大的手,來回翻弄著半熟的地瓜。掀開烤箱,又蓋上,香味便在這個時候涌出,假若你有經驗,一定知道該選什么樣子的才好吃。恩,是那種皮和瓤分離的,紅色的外皮已經被火烤干,里邊的果實也熟作一塊。刨開來嘗一口,外邊酥酥的,好像雪糕上面的巧克力脆皮。里邊卻又是溫暖的稀稀的黃汁。一口下去,便有一股暖流,直涌到心里。我認為這溫暖的來源,大概就是溫暖和寒冷的反差。就好像寒冬里一家人圍著桌子吃火鍋。屋里是濃濃裊裊的熱氣,屋外的玻璃卻兀自凍上了一層白霜。呼嘯的北風夾雜著雪片,自在室外肆虐,而屋中卻被溫熱的食物和溫暖的人情所充斥。北國的冬天越是寒冷,這種美味里的溫暖就越是讓人感動。而這種植物,卻也毫不矜夸,隨便你花上一塊兩塊錢,就可以買到這份溫暖。
      
      人都說蘇杭風景如畫,四季如春,但我在北方生長了二十年,卻還是愛著北方的冬天,愛吃糖葫蘆烤地瓜,愛看小孩被凍得發紅的臉蛋和小手,愛像只小馬一樣,在雪后的操場上撒野,愛躺在小床上,靜靜聽著午后環衛工人們“查查”的掃雪聲,愛瞇著眼睛,看著冬日的暖陽。
      
      學長簽了北京的工作,代價就是,一年回一次家,還被迫放棄了大連的女友。他說,我不知道要讓她等我多久,我不該誤了她的青春。我聽后默然,說:為什么你不留在大連呢?他釋然的說,北京大,北京機會多,對以后的發展好。
      
      幾天后發現他在人人上的狀態:留在北京,失去的東西,我現在已經確定,而我將會得到的東西,卻像葉子一樣飄搖!
      
      人越長大,越抵不住流年。人越長大,越經不起離別。很多時候,我們不是被逼著離開了故鄉,恰恰相反,年少的我們,總是自愿做出這種選擇,為了更好地生活,為了更好地發展。但更好的生活是什么,更好的發展又是什么?我不知道。
      
      但我想要幸福地活著。要有好多好多的愛,好多好多的溫暖,和足夠我活下去的錢。

    (責任編輯:admin)
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